*Ping*

its been a long while since my last post. No, I've not died. Fell rather sick sometime in 2011, but survived it. No, the rapture didn't happen. (or maybe it did, and left you and me here) I've just been busy, occupied and hoping to resume my rant and ramble about this confusing life. Keep tuned!

prelude to travels

This series of notes were first conceived while I was en route to Florence. while not a true travel blog, it will, hopefully, serve to provide the readers with a look into my experiences in my travels, as well as a short glimpse into my dark and warped mind.

I believe that every story needs a background, a setup so that the story can be appreciated. This note should suffice such that the notes following can be grasped in its intended context.



--
"You are planning to do what?"

Friends near and far were astounded upon hearing my travel plans.

Yes, moi, the staunch non-traveler, the bane of all travel-bugs, had finally decided to go somewhere.

Well. in all honesty, I don't have a thing against traveling -but rather, I hate traveling alone. My past experiences showed that any trip taken with more than a 3-person group would create a lot of stress: 3 people usually result in 4 different opinions and 5 long arguments. The number of opinions increase exponentially from here, as do the stress level. Also, my last experience on traveling with someone else landed me into every chinese restaurant in the wonderful city of prague (He insisted on eating Chinese food). Hardly a thrilling experience.

Given that dismal track record, and given that I had not really been in the mood to travel, for 5 long years, the tourism industry was deprived of financial contributions from my humble coffers.

So what made me decide to go on a series of trips?

Readers following my facebook/twitter updates would have noted the tone of constant self-questioning and seeking in my updates. Along with the turmoil at work, I had been questioning my paths - whether I've actually achieved anything with my constant striving and trying. It was a long season of self-searching, and I needed to get some peace and quiet to think.

In addition to the factors above, I have also been wondering about what I've been doing in my photography. As an experienced artist (musician amongst other things) in the creative realms, I knew that there was a great difference between the "casual good looking shot" and a work of art that is produced by the artist. The latter inspires, provokes a response, and captures the attention of the audience, whereas the former just looks good, but is forgotten in 10 minutes.





Do I always just want to do post card pictures that look good? Do I have something to work with, or am I just another casual snapper (an advanced one at that, but still, just a snapshot maker)?


These concerns were haunting me, and a break was long overdue. While I might not find the answers to how I should redirect my life, I felt that going t o a foreign place, a new locality, could help me see what strengths/weaknesses I have as a photographer. With such thoughts in mind, plans for a series of short trips were birthed.

In order to make it easier for myself, I decided to go for a "pre-trip" (a short walk-around trip to Paris) to help me get used to "photographing in a strange place". However, the real test would take place when I go to Italy, to Venice, the "mecca" of photography. Venice, with its overflowing crowds of tourists and inspiring sights, would provide a good testing ground for me - at least, I'll find out what I'm made of!

Of Paris, there is pitifully little of which I can write: apart from finding out that it was crowded (I hate tourists!), realizing that the french have exotic tastes for food and realizing that the dishes would not sing "be our guest", my initial trip to Paris had been alot of "warming up", and getting myself back into the mood to explore. (I did enjoy meeting up with old friends and renewing old bonds of friendship - but that would hardly be interesting for the casual reader)






I will be writing about my thoughts and adventures (serious and silly ones) in Italy in the following days to come. Stay tuned!

quirky mood.. (worst nightmare)

This isn't one of my usual blogs - its more a quirky attempt and reaction to a photo i took.

again, this is a backdated entry. The original was written on 4th Feb 2009. (I'm catching up, i think)

.. here's the fun part: spot all the obscure references to quirky literature or imagery. :)

--

am in a quirky mood today. or in this season. or actually, for quite a while now.

I'm just thinking of a picture I took and suddenly, I realized that *if* someone wrote a heavy metal song about nightmares, it might fit.

the song might go like this:

"I'm your worst nightmare
the one that wakes you up screaming
I'm your worst nightmare
your skin will go a-crawling

I'm your worst nightmare
those that makes you go wishing
I'm your worst nightmare
newspapers are now a-lacking


(chorus - tuneless screaming, with loud guitar blasting noise)
I'm your nightmare yeah yeah
Nightmare yeah yeah yeah
I'll crawl up to you,
sit down beside you
and make you run away"


The picture?

This

nightmare on elm-street special!

(oh. This photo was the result of following a friend - one of those insect fans - who brought me out to look at some bits of nature - and I found more nature than I liked. This was one of them. we don't usually have things this ugly roaming about in singapore)

memories from travels.. (beware the wares)

Its catchup time again. I had no idea that there were so many notes/blogs I wrote on my facebook profile - but ideas seem to flow swifter there.

anyway, on with the show. This blog was written on 29 Jan 2009, about an event in April 2008. go figure.

--

I'm sorting through and tagging my old photos on Flickr now.

for those who don't know it, i take pictures. reluctantly, but i do it. (I call myself a reluctant photographer). Having joined Flickr for what i thought was just "a short moment of distracting fun", the hobby or distraction has turned out to become something more serious.

I'm now trying to remember each picture, and tagging it with the proper tags for sorting and easy management.

while doing that, i've suddenly spotted something from one of my older pictures - and with it, the story behind it. Thought I'd share it here.

See that shop? beware its wares

while i was here for a business trip, i was supposed to meet up with my manager at this location. He was late erm.. i mean, delayed. (managers are never late) - and i was bored, so i decided to try a wee portion of that cherry liquor (Ginjinha) from that place.

oops. shouldn't have done that. more than half my brains died and the remaining bits were threatening to leave me. I was so affected by the alcohol that i had to keep walking or risk something worse.

my manager arrived about 30 minutes later.. and i was still so stupid that i told him upfront - "Hope you don't need me to be at my smartest. I tried one of these things and I'm still trying to entice my brain cells to come back"

oops.

snow, the forest and yet other perils to the tropical islander..

since I've been on vacation, this has generally not been updated. This blog post was originally published on facebook (13th Jan 2009) - where all the interesting comments were generated.

Anyway, since "the more human side of things" was originally meant to be the main blog, I've copied the whole post here.

--
I'm not sure what i did. Perhaps i made the matter too light, and wrote it in a fun way, such that there are people who mistook the "lost in the snow episode" for a fun adventure.





It wasn't that fun. while I eventually made it back into civilization, there were quite abit of walking through terrains such as this (top)

Adventure? hah!

Well. Lets not make a big ado out of it. That was last Saturday - it was foolish and I was frozen to bits.

What I'd like to know is - what made me do it again?

Yes. Again. No. Not in the same forest, but somewhere more dire.

It was a warmer day (2 degrees, as compared to -6) and it felt remotely like Spring. Since I had already had aching muscles, I thought it would be a nice change of pace to do something simpler. Just a gentle walk through the nature reserve near my town...

The reckless me was happy of course. "wheee!" and the cautious side was tugging at my sleeves in abrupt alarm.

"*Ahem!!! Didn't he almost get us Lost?*"
"WET BLANKET! WET BLANKET!"


Recklessness and stupidity are often just a line away from each other. In fact, most people who advocate "live for now" are really advocating stupidity in practice. (now that really sounds like I'm picking a fight, but its true)

Having dressed up warmly and worn the appropriate footgear (boots. snow proof stuff), I took the next train to the next town. I've been there before and I know the woods like the back of my hand. or so I thought.

The walk was brisk and fun. It was good to see old sights being covered with snow - even if the snow was starting to turn into slush. Soon, I came to the point-where-I-should-have-turned-back.

Having come to another bend in the road, I had the clear choice of going back, or to go to where no cher-pings has ever been before.

And having looked as far as each path would lead me and being convinced of the full daylight, I decided to go the unexplored path...

It started out fine - and I made doubly sure of my bearings by chatting up every local person I could find, just to get directions, etc. The fact that most of them were old ladies was lost on me - I hadn't come to the conclusion that german old grannies were tough as nails yet. But I was told that if I continued on and followed the road, I would eventually find a way to come back to this place without backtracking - it would take all of 30 minutes, and should be alright.

30 minutes? hm. no biggie. or so i thought.

.. it might have taken 30 minutes - I'm not sure. however, the way back was through a very hilly area of forest, with inclines of about 60-70 degrees, from a height of 30 meters or more. That would be like descending very steep stairs from the fifth floor...

Have I already mentioned that it was 2 degrees? For those who have yet to see the full picture, imagine this - a beautiful forest path in the hills. and you're up there.. and the path is covered with snow -  that is currently melting into slippery slush.. Since i was wearing boots (those designed to keep cold out, not with spikes), my traction was greatly reduced. uhhhh! :(

.. It was fun, I suppose, to be able to descend the slopes in that fashion. Its not that I can't enjoy a good slide as well as the next person. Its just that it would be more fun, had I been assured of my continual survival down the slopes. It wasn't the kind of slopes which you go "WHEEEEEEEEE" down. Its not even the type which you go "GEROMINO!!!!!" It was more like "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH-YIIIIIIIIIII - *THUD*!", that loud thud being the tree that broke your almost-free-fall.

I tried everything: I dug my soles into the slush. I tried grabbing at bits of trees. I tried to improvise something that could help me to slide safely. I prayed.

It took all of my dignity not to scream out like a terrified coward. Whimpering was allowed though. And the occasional "MUMMY!!!!!". Since there were no one to laugh at me (even the squirrels were asleep) - I suppose it was alright.

There were moments where I was able to put on a very impressive pose - like a surfer, except that I was stricken with utter terror (and that destroyed the coolness factor). And I was in constant danger of performing splits - courtesy of the melting slush and gravity. It was like going on a ski slope except that there wasn't much snow and I wasn't on skis. And of course, I don't know how to ski.

After quite a while of sliding, I managed to make it to the bottom (or some rather flat area). Spotting some people at last, I waddled shakily to them - "do you know how I can get to Herzogenrath?"

"Oh. You're going in the wrong direction. .. You need to go back up these slopes and head the other way..."

My face must have turned a couple of shades of pale. Go back? Up there????  Even that reckless side of me was rather subdued - or at least, smart enough not to volunteer for more adventures.

Thankfully, there was another way around. A longer way. It took me through more woods, more slopes, but none the likes of the mini Mt Everest I just went through.

This is really a playground in comparison. Taken from "on the way back". My hands were too shaky to take pictures while on the initial slopes

The two adventures taught me something - Jungle boy I'm not. Neither am I Tarzen. If I should go exploring, I'll try to bring someone along. Hopefully the person will have enough sense not to let me get lost!!!!

I also noted that the cold seem to have added a lot of condensation to my camera sensor. I have now quite a bit of dirt on the sensor of my new camera. hm... this is going to get expensive..

snow, the forest and other perils to the tropical islander..

I've been extremely busy and tired recently - so after writing these notes/blogs, I promptly forgot to update it here. (I wrote it in facebook).

So here you go- the latest installation on the more human side of me. :)

--

Lets start this note with a riddle:

What does the snow, the forest and a tropical islander have to do with each other?

The answer: Nada. Zilch. Nothing.

So when my more adventurous side decided - "Hey. There's a lake near my workplace. And its supposed to be in a forest. Why don't we (i.e the adventurous side and the cautious side) go there to explore it?", I was slightly concerned.

Alarm bells started to ring as my brain and the more cautious side pointed out - "Erm. Its -6 degrees. Its cold. You sure you want to do that?"

Undeterred, the adventurous side threw all caution to the wind - "Hey. Just dress thicker and don't be such a wimp. You only live once. Besides, you might just be able to find some good pictures. You needed to test your new Sony A350, remember?"

Whimpering and beaten into a pulp by that last remark, the cautious side agreed to it.

..The whole adventure started out ok. It was cold. but with the layers of clothes, it was rather manageable. Things were a bit unpleasant when I stepped into ankle-high deep snow and got my pant-legs wet. However, since it promptly froze over, the wetness didn't really bother me.

The intended adventure was supposed to be along a hiking trail - a small round and a bigger round. Both were relatively well documented and was supposed to be completed in 4 hours. Not so tough, or so I reasoned. That total time was computed for nice old german grannies pushing their little grand-kiddies in prams - so a younger person like me should be able to finish it in good time.

That would have been true if i stayed to the path.

Oh. Did I mention that there was a sad lack of maps for the trail?

Somewhere in the bigger hiking trail, I came to a fork in the forest. Much like Frost's poem:

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood*,

And sorry I could not travel both

And be one traveler, long I stood

And looked down one as far as I could

To where it bent in the undergrowth.

*Well. It was snowy. So it was no longer yellow.

and true to his poem, I decided

Two roads diverged in a wood, and I--

I took the one less traveled by,

And that has made all the difference...

"Hm.. I seem to recall that both paths lead to the end point. Its a complete round anyway. So its not going to be too bad if I just take the left fork instead of the right bend. Just remember - all roads lead to Rome!" ventured that happy adventurer in me.

That might have been true for Rome, but this was not exactly the case. After half an hour of walking, I found myself to be at a very isolated road. Good. I'm out of the woods. but I'm definitely not where I should be.

Bemused passerbys, when approached, decided to set me on the right path. However, their knowledge being limited to the human mind, the path indicated was a bit longer than what they remembered. It was isolated, quiet, and I was pretty much the only person on the path.

".. Don't worry. You see these tracks? Fresh tracks. i.e. someone else passed by this way. You are not lost." mumbled my embarrassed adventurous side. Somehow, that side of me has miraculously gained a tracker's ability to read the tracks in the ground. What it (he?) didn't point out was that the snow was hardened. i.e. it could have been quite a while since someone passed by.

"Just keep going on. Keep going on. Happy thoughts. Happy thoughts". He was a cheer-leader as well. hm..

I finally walked to somewhere with signs of civilization. Its not exactly the best thing, but it was a good start.

Thankfully, the directions were right, even if the distance was grossly misjudged. I managed to see some quite interesting sights. This, for example..

In completing the both rounds, it took a total of 6 hours - two more hours than the estimated time. Its either that German old ladies were tougher than I knew, or that I'm growing old. Of course, having lost my way did add to the total time required, but well.. its less embarrassing to admit to being wimpy or old. Lost? A guy? Never!

That having been said, I should stop listening to that adventurous side for a bit. Life would be slightly sweeter.

Questions and doubts..

Am in a slight blue funk - basically, plagued with questions of "why bother?"

why bother with new year resolutions, creating promises that you try to hold on to, in the hope for a better future which might never be there?

why bother to hone your skills - be it computing, photography, writing or music - to improve, and find that its not required?

why bother to save up for a future which is more intangible than wisps of smoke?

why bother to chase after dreams that are more of a mirage than visions in the desert?

.. I'm not concerned about my job. my needs are simple - i don't need much, and there will always be a job if i choose to take it. I've been through recessions, hard times and tough moments - so the current financial outlook does not worry me.

I am however, in strong disagreement with the outlook for my personal future.

.. of course, you could always say - "you could choose to think positive or think negative". That is very true. I'm the author of the saying that "given the fact that the future is yet unknown, you should spend equal time thinking about the positive as you do the negative." However, I would rather prefer to think of the positive with the support of more encouraging signs rather than to engage in mental weight-lifting and push myself to think positively ("just because the alternative is to think negatively"). That, it seems to me, is self-deceptionary.

why indeed.

New Year Resolutions.. 2009

This could very well be renamed "upcoming guilt trip for 2009".

Hands up, those of you who know someone who managed to keep all their new year resolutions. I betcha that these are very rare.

Well. In keeping with the spirit of the season, and adding on to my own guilt (for the end of the year), lets go on with listing down the modest list of accomplishments I hope to achieve.


1. Buy less stuff
Yes, I'm the proud owner of about 900 books, 3 DSLR bodies and a whole lot of lenses, tripods, monopods, and oh.. 2 laptops and other things. I own stuff. LOADS of it.

I've been trying to cut down on my books, and other purchases for a long while - not that I can't afford them, but simply, I'm running out of space.

Currently high on the temptation list are 3 lenses, an electronic violin, an electronic piano and a good studio mixer.. I'll have to try to be brave, or at least, settle for one (or some) of these instead of just buying it all...


2. Read, Read, Read!
I do read alot. serious. but I'm trying to get myself to read more of non-computer science books which i have - commentaries, history, socialogy, biographies... and what about those poetry and classics I've been meaning to dive into? They've been sitting on my shelves for a long time.


3. "I came, I saw, I shot"
Since i tend towards landscapes (sunsets), one of the things I need to try would be to diversify myself into other forms of photography. Probably street stuff, or just simple explorations. I'll probably not leave landscapes, lights n shadows, aside, but I'll just have to take care to add other styles of photography into my personal skill set.


4. more regular visits to the gym
I've been meaning to go to the gym regularly each year. It worked for quite abit - but seriously - I get more exercise lugging my camera backpack (with all the lenses and stuff inside, it comes up easily to 8kg) and dashing all over the place. My camera with my favourite lens weighs about 2kg. Now that's some weight lifting!

I'm going to try to work towards being able to lift my own body weight in each and every muscle group. I think such modest aims are achievable for now.




Someone once said - "Aim low, hit low". but if i get to hit any of them, I'd be very happy. :)